Sea views with a side of sand, garnish with freedom

Sums up the coast right now.

It's winter, well and truly and it's hit the Bellarine.

It's not wanting to get out of bed in the mornings, because you've got the bed just how you want it, it's walking on the beach and the wind that bites at your face and fills your nose with salt and sand, with seaweed and birds.

And ocean - so much ocean - it stretches forever, the ships come through the heads and the birds glide on nothing.

Here at night you can hear the sea from our house, it really is like putting a shell to your ear.

The consensus on this place? Freedom.

It's relaxing, it strolls the streets and walks its dogs on the beach.

It doesn't care what it wears (read: uggies and trackies are completing acceptable in a cafe), it drinks coffee and admires the view and wonders what the "poor" people are doing.

Feeling, thy name is resilience.

I think I've had an ephiphany of sorts.

Of sorts, it's been a realisation that in any other set of circumstances I may not have seen.

Anyway, it's  been simmering away in the background, and has finally come to a head.

He's got a problem, it's gotten to be bigger than all of us and it's at the stage that I'm at the end of it.

Everything.

I want to escape, go somewhere where nobody knows me and I can't remember, don't have to face what this is.

This would be the easy way out, but it won't happen.

I love him, but I need to be able to see a way forward from this, that has only appeared in the past couple of days.

I don't like feeling lost, hopeless like I have been.

This time last week I had come to terms with the fact that things may well have been over; we were just going through the motions as things moved towards their inevitable end.

That was last week's mindset, this week is about focusing on the positive things - there is a way forward, heaven forbid this is a dead horse we are flogging but let me know this for myself.

Chalk it up to experience.