I think I've had an ephiphany of sorts.
Of sorts, it's been a realisation that in any other set of circumstances I may not have seen.
Anyway, it's been simmering away in the background, and has finally come to a head.
He's got a problem, it's gotten to be bigger than all of us and it's at the stage that I'm at the end of it.
Everything.
I want to escape, go somewhere where nobody knows me and I can't remember, don't have to face what this is.
This would be the easy way out, but it won't happen.
I love him, but I need to be able to see a way forward from this, that has only appeared in the past couple of days.
I don't like feeling lost, hopeless like I have been.
This time last week I had come to terms with the fact that things may well have been over; we were just going through the motions as things moved towards their inevitable end.
That was last week's mindset, this week is about focusing on the positive things - there is a way forward, heaven forbid this is a dead horse we are flogging but let me know this for myself.
Chalk it up to experience.
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