I've called time on things. He's gone home, this is it.
I need to work myself out, find out who I am. I had a massive realisation that I don't know anymore.
I think what's happened is I've given so much of myself to him, focusing on him, trying to give him every opportunity to take things up, some responsibility for what's going on and begin the plan to make things better time and time again, and every time fall back into apathy - that there's nothing left, I have nothing left to give. Things don't feel like a relationship anymore - so I've put a stop to it.
It's going to be like How Stella Got Her Groove Back, in a sense. I'm going to get to know myself again, sort some things out in my head and actually work out what I want from life. I've already decided I want to travel - I'm renewing my passport. I also want to relax - that's a major one. I wan to not have something always hanging over my head, time to just be - take things in, breathe, read, sleep - whatever grabs me.
Think of it as my mid-year resolution.
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